SILENCE: A GATEWAY TO TRUTH
I grew up in the Catholic School system where we attended mass several times per week. In my youth, I remember the church teaching that God is Love. This idea resonated deeply. I could feel love within me, and I wanted to live in a world full of love. I was so innocent and trusting back then. It was easy to accept the feeling of unconditional love in my heart and understand it to be God.
As I grew older, however, I began to learn about morality via bible stories and the Ten Commandments. Through these teachings, the simple idea that God is Love—unconditional love that I could feel inside myself—came into question. As far as I could tell, these teachings were suggesting that “God” was a force outside myself that I was supposed to obey. I was now learning about a powerful being that might punish those who do not follow its commands—a being whose love might be conditional.
Honestly, I never really accepted dogma that promulgated the notion of a punishing God. Even back then—especially in my early years—I somehow knew that using moral precepts to place conditions on the love of God was not right. Intuitively, it always felt off to me.
Still, I had unresolved questions about God. As I witnessed all the suffering and turmoil in the world, I couldn’t help but wonder: Was this punishment for our sins?
My Search for Truth
Feeling alienated from God, I began a search for truth beyond the religious framework in which I had grown up—beyond Catholicism. I started reading self-help books, particularly those focused on spirituality, and I sought answers in a wide range of religious and philosophical texts from around the world.
Eventually, I took the leap and visited a non-denominational church called Unity. There was an air of familiarity in Unity’s Sunday services, as they incorporated elements of traditional Christian worship. However, Unity encouraged personal spiritual exploration in a way the Catholic Church had not. I felt a sense of gratitude for the freedom and support this new community provided in my quest for truth.
Discovering Silence
While some of Unity’s more Christian elements felt familiar, there was one practice included in their Sunday service that was completely new to me. It was a short period of intentionally entering into silence. Every week as the entire congregation entered into silence, it felt as if my sense of hearing was heightened, and I would inevitably notice a quiet stirring in my heart. Something about being in the silence was so alluring. There was a sense of mysterious aliveness in it!
I began looking forward to the few minutes spent in silence every Sunday. When the Buddhist center that was housed in the same building as Unity began offering 20-minute guided meditations, I decided to give those a try as well. Looking back now, I would say that learning to sit in silence is one of the most important things I have done in my life.
You see, through the years I had become lost. Although I had never stopped believing intellectually in a God of unconditional love, somewhere along my life journey, I had lost the awareness of God as the feeling of love in my heart. Of course, I still felt love in my heart; I just no longer recognized it as God. Disconnected from this realization, I had become estranged from God—no longer understanding that I am connected to God through Love; that I am an extension of It; that It is within me and always available for guidance, if I so desire.
Entering silence helps me reconnect with the quiet stirring of Love that is ever-present, if I simply pay attention to it—the quiet stirring that is my Truth.